Frustrated, tired, and thoroughly overwhelmed I was stuck on the hamster wheel of life. Numerous negative issues were impacting my daily life and my health. Although even back then I realized much of it was self-induced I felt very unable to do anything to change it. I did however manage to find time to drink plenty of booze every night and ignore or argue with my family! Somehow I managed to make it to the office and get work completed. Then everything started to change. For the worse! More problems developed. No real surprise to many. My job got harder to do, my wife got more angry, and my kids were now doing drugs, failing in school and I no longer cared about what was really going on in my life. Issues started to compound. Of course I still acted like everything was just fine, knowing very well inside it was total confusion. Boy, did I need a drink!!! And so the cycle went right along. My ex-wife and I had at least made one good decision, to send my youngest daughter off to a rehab program. She was 15. While she was there we learned through therapy that her stepbrother had molested her. At the age of 10! Until I heard that I could pretend everything was OK, but at that point life just dropped out of me. Truly, it had gone years ago. But I had just been hanging onto the false hope that if I just made a few more sales, or drank a little less, or treated my family differently there would one day be peace and some kind of reunification or renewal. If I could just get to that spot down the road I would finally be happy. Then it would be easy to change. Everything would be so different. The reality was that the madness of the world had me spinning on its finger. I was sad, angry, and very disappointed in myself. Physically I was a wreck, and emotionally I was paralyzed with this latest information about my daughter. I was completely exhausted.
When I shared this with my sister, she told me that she had talked to someone a while back when she was having some challenges. She gave me his number. She had actually given me the same number many months before and I had thrown it away. Again, thinking if I could only get to that “other spot” things were really going to get better. But now I couldn’t even think there was another spot to get to. Looking back, I realize I called the number to get what I thought would be the typical therapy of listening to my problems and then resetting another appointment just to hash it all over again the following week. However, when I called and explained my lousy situation, the guy says “Fantastic!” Besides almost dropping the phone I was really pissed off by the response. However, he did of course go on to explain why he thought that was so great. He asked me if I would like to get together. Still somewhat perplexed but looking for any door to open up, I said sure. He sent me some questionnaires to answer.
We set an appointment to meet, even though I was optimistic I didn’t know what to expect. Peter and I met for the first time in person on a Tuesday morning. I had been up front with writing down all the issues I felt were relevant. He began to share with me what he saw. We talked for 3 or 4 hours. Covering (or uncovering) a perspective I had never even heard of. Even using a few feelings from the distant past I hadn’t looked at for decades to help me understand some key points in my current situation. I left that day with a light-heartedness I can’t even explain and the feeling that the world and its problems were no longer mine to carry. Over the next few weeks this experience would open my heart and my eyes to a whole new world. We talked on the phone often during those initial weeks. No doubt because he could see what a mess of convoluted thoughts I had started with. Some of the insights that Peter taught me popped out like a bright light. Others I had to chew on for a while to fully understand and develop. He showed me that I was NOT an alcoholic, and in fact he never even addressed my drinking! I learnt to see that I was simply drinking to numb my pain which I now know was purely symptomatic, and what Peter helped me dissolve. I learnt that years of crap just keeps piling up and so most people are unable to see through the mental burdens that they are holding on to. Eventually, they don’t even know who they are or what they really even want any more. I was one of them.
It took only two sessions with Peter and I quit drinking immediately! It was such an empowering time. This was without any other help than Peter’s direction and my newfound view on life. We kept getting to deeper and deeper concepts that made me realize a deep and unique peace about myself I had never encountered. One of the biggest reliefs in my life was to realize I did not have to own everybody else’s fear and problems. My part was to heal my own life and then without wishing to sound to wishy-washy to love myself and hence my family (rather than see them as the reason for my suffering). The harmony in my life is now a great and powerful energy. Something most people may never see. Their eyes are covered. Their spirit is kept locked up like a beautiful picture in a totally dark room. It’s sad as no one ever gets to see it. But within each person the picture is always there! All we have to do is turn on the light. Our part is to get rid of the layers and barriers we have established to uncover what is already there. Peter can do this for you. Regardless of what age you are, or what walk your life has taken you on, I promise the time you spend with yourself discovering what is real and what is unimportant will literally be a mind-blowing experience. You will see that what you have been looking for has been right in front of you your whole life!
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